Thursday, July 8, 2010

If God Really...Really.... Loved America

Dear God

I am having a bit of a conflict between your commandment to love thy neighbor and my country's problems.  You see, God, we are in some really bad dire straights here with the economy....all the result of illegals.  Now I know...I know....you may prefer I call them undocumented, but I'm not really into all that PC nonsense.

Anyway, we got a real problem with Mexicans coming over here and breeding like there's no such thing as abstinence.  All these kids they have, and the poverty they like to live in adds up.  Did you know we feed their kids?  We actually provide them with a breakfast and a lunch.  Free!  My mom says that their parents should be able to at least feed them a peanut-butter sandwich and Rush Limbaugh has offered instructions on how to dumpster-dive for food (I love Rush, he is one of your better creations).

Well anyway, feeding them kids is costing me my hard-earned tax dollars, and I am sick of it.  The government does not do anything for us white folk, but sure as hell....er....forgive me - heck - they will feed them, clothe them, and give them free health care in our emergency rooms!  All on my hard-earned dime.

So my problem is that I really hate these illegals, you know the ones that can only speak Spanish, wave their Mexican flag, and stand out on the corner looking for work.  I hate them, and I know I can't get into heaven if I don't love my neighbor.  So I got a win-win proposal for you Lord.

Smite them.

You know...like you did in 2 Kings 2:23-24, when Elisha was called a bald-head by a bunch of kids....you remember...he called down a curse on them in your name and you sent two bears out that mauled forty-two of the gang-bangers.

Can you do that for me?  I would like to call down a curse in your name to smite all the illegals who are getting everything for free on my tax dollars.  Surely my slight is much more worthy of smiting than being called a bald-head.

Please?

You don't want me to continue hating them do you?

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